I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
