just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
