I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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