i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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