I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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