I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
