i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
