Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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