Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
