I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He's on the porch naked. Help.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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