nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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