Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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