i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
