When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
