I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
