I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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