it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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