She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
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That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
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So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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