I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
