so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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