I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
