Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
