watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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