I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize