Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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