therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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