life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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