ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
