I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize