But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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