wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
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You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
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A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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