Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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