i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
