Yo dont text me then not text me
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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