if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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