I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize