that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf