I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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