I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
