its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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