I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
