um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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