What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
