I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
