unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
