i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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