Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
