And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I have fence marks all over my body
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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