I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
