What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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