Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
