In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
