I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I don't deserve a penis
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
