I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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