about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
