i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just gargled with NyQuil
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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