they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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