I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
