i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
NoShamevember. You game?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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