We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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