You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
