Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You are a genius and a whore.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
