It was confusing and full of hummus
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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