dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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