I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
